How to write a thank-you notew

QUESTION: I HAVE
a crushing inability
to write proper
thank-you notes.
Can you offer me
some guidelines? –
Canal.

Answer: I was
wondering when
you were going to
ask that question,
and frankly, I ’m a
little disappointed
it took you so long.
Somewhere schooling, but
stationery you
shooting of an
email, you
completely lost
touch with the
concept of simple
thank-you notes.
probably at this
very moment, i'm
sighing over how
young people
today just don ’t
have manners.
As extra
motivation, I will
also grudgingly tell
you the hidden
secret of thank-
you notes: They
improve the
frequency and
quality of the gifts
you receive.
People like being
appreciated, and if
they feel you
actually notice the
nice things they do
for you, they ’re
more likely to give
an encore
performance. Do
not, however, use
this as a strategy
to avoid writing
thank-yous to
those who
regularly give gifts
you do not like.
Every gift
deserves a thank-
you.
I assure you,
writing thank-yous
is easier than you
think. Get
yourself some
stationery, plain
note cards or a
selection of
attractive
postcards (yes,
postcards are
perfectly
acceptable!), and
proper postage.
Avoid the pre-
inscribed ‘Thank
you!’ cards in loopy
script, as there are
times you ’ll want
to write notes
where that
aesthetic feels all
wrong. Better to
choose paper you
like. Stay away
from full-size
sheets —note
cards are best, as
your message will
be brief, and would
look silly swimming
around on a page
that large. Store all
of these items
somewhere easily
accessible and
preferably in plain
sight so you won ’t
hesitate too long
or forget too
easily. Say, the top
drawer of your
desk or on a
bookshelf at eye
level or below.
If you want to
know when you
get a genuine pass
on writing a note,
the litmus test is
simple: Do I live
under the same
roof as the giver?
If the answer is
‘ yes,’ you need not
write a thank-you
note (although a
thank-you Post-It
might be a nice
touch).
I’m not going to
mis manners and get
into the social
intricacies and
delicate situations
that surround
thank-you note
writing, as I was
taught that a solid
thank-you note
will transcend all
complicated
situations—and I
have seen no
evidence to the
contrary.
There is a six-point
formula to the
proper thank-you:
Learn it, know it,
memorize it —and
it will never fail
you.

1. Greet the
Giver

Dear Canal,

That’s the easy
part, but you’d be
surprised how
many people
forget it.
people love to
hear their own
names and Direct
Marketing is sure
we also love to
read them in ink.
That ’s right, ink.
Blue-black is
always the
number-one
choice, but black
will suffice in a
pinch. Don ’t let a
whimsical marker
color be the most
stunning part of
your note: instead
let the words sing
without the
amplification of
rainbow hues.
Even if your
handwriting is
poor, you must still
hand-write your
notes. Do not type
them or, worse,
use a word
processor. No
excuses.

2. Express Your
Gratitude

Thank you so
much for the
slippers.

This first
paragraph seems
like it would be the
easiest, but it is
actually the most
complicated.
Beware the just
writing trap. You
are not ‘just
writing to say’ as
in I am just writing
to say; that ’s
stating the
obvious. If the
giver is reading,
clearly you have
already written.
Therefore use the
present-perfect
tense, which
essentially means
write as if
whatever you say
is happening in the
moment.
Also—and this is
important—never
directly mention
money. ‘Thank you
for the hundred
bucks ’ could
instead be ‘Thank
you for your
generosity. ’ All
cash
denominations
become ‘your
generosity’ or
‘your kindness.’ If
you feel the giver
overspent, the
farthest you can
go is appreciated:
‘ Your generosity is
appreciated,’ or ‘It
is such an
extravagant gift
— your kindness is
appreciated.’
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